<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>No Children by mlmtozier</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23643733">No Children</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mlmtozier/pseuds/mlmtozier'>mlmtozier</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adult Eddie Kaspbrak, Adult Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Angst, Beverly Marsh &amp; Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, Character Death Fix, Closeted Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Established Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Post-Pennywise (IT), Richie Tozier is a Mess, Richie Tozier's Internalized Homophobia, Stanley Uris Lives, Swearing, beverly marsh is everyone's best friend, mentions of character's believed death, reddie angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:15:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,174</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23643733</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mlmtozier/pseuds/mlmtozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Stan never killed himself, Eddie made it out alive, but Richie still can't accept who he is.<br/>--<br/>based off of it chapter two.<br/>song fic based off of no children by the mountain goats</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Audra Denbrough, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris/Patty Uris</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. prolouge</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There were three hard things Richie Tozier had to face when he went back to Derry.<br/>
Number one. He thought Stan was dead and he didn't know how to cope. He made jokes, called Stan a pussy before they all thought their best friend killed himself. And God, did it hurt hearing what they thought to be Patty telling the Losers that Stanley Uris had killed himself in their bathtub.<br/>
But it was all a mind game by Pennywise, Stan arrived a day later. He was hurt, but alive.</p>
<p>Number two. Richie nearly lost Eddie. The one person he loved more than anyone. He thought he'd lose his best friend, his childhood crush under that house on Neilbolt Street. But they got him out, somehow. Miraculously, Eddie was now safe, going through treatment. You couldn't go through what that man did and heal physically or emotionally within a day.</p>
<p>Number three. Richie Tozier had to accept himself. He had to accept his noisy jokes, the friends he made, and even more: his secret. The secret that's taunted him for his whole life. The secret he shoved aside. And even though the Loser's club know, even though Eddie knows, Richie can't seem to let himself be free.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. one</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b><em>"</em></b><em>i hope that our few remaining friends give up on trying to save us</em><b><em>"</em></b><br/>
<b><em>•</em></b><br/>
   Richie Tozier stared at his reflection in his bathroom mirror. It had been a month since the incident in Derry, and he wished he could forget it like he did last time. He wished he could forget his friends, it would be easier. <br/>
   Some part of him wished he stayed down there, to make everything easier. Sure, people would notice if he was gone, he was decently popular. But maybe Pennywise's final trick would be that no one would remember him. <br/>
   He sighed, buttoning his shirt up. His manager, Steve, wanted him to dress cleaner. Richie hated it, in full honesty. Well, it felt nice but that wasn't why he hated it. It felt as if he wouldn't be recognizable. He supposed that was the point, he didn't want his old friends to know who he was and if changing his looks would make it harder to know who he was, then so be it.<br/>
  He stared at himself in the dressing room mirror, ignoring the small knocks on his door. <br/>
    Richie didn't want to do this. He didn't want to be back at his job so soon. So much had happened, and he couldn't even talk about it. (Well, he could joke about it. Everyone would think he did LSD or something of the sort, though. Definitely some sort of drugs).<br/>
Eventually, the knocks got louder and faster. <br/>
"Jesus Christ, who the hell is it?" Richie yelled, swinging his chair around so he was facing the door. <br/>
A young kid with a mic headset and a clipboard peeked in, he was scared. It was probably his first time working, Richie had never seen him before.</p>
<p>"You have a...a guest!! You have a guest, Mr. Tozier," the young kid told him, pointing outside the door.</p>
<p>"Let 'em in," Richie sighed, taking his glasses off and rubbing his face.</p>
<p>The kid nodded and stepped out. Moments later, a tall woman with firey red hair came in. And she looked pissed.</p>
<p>"Richard Tozier, you are in s-," she started to yell at him, but was interrupted.</p>
<p>"Please, close the door so you spare some of my dignity, Bev," Richie joked.</p>
<p>Beverly rolled her eyes and obeyed, pulling a chair up afterwards to sit next to him.</p>
<p>"What the hell, man?" she asked, quietly.</p>
<p>"I'm on tour," he replied,"in Reno."</p>
<p>Richie didn't get what the big deal was. He told them he'd go straight back to tour immediately after.</p>
<p>
  <em>"I love you guys," Richie mumbled into the hug. "I can't stay too long for the after party, though."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Why not?" Eddie had asked, pulling out of the hug with the rest of the Loser's.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"I have dates in Reno. It's too late to reschedule and if I do, people'll notice." It was a white lie, it wasn't too late. But people would think it's suspicious that he postponed a few dates.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Promise to text us when you land!" Stan called after Richie, who was getting in his car. </em>
</p>
<p>Richie didn't reply, and he very clearly didn't text back.</p>
<p>"I know you're in Reno, asshole. <em>I'm </em>in Reno, too!" Bev replied, angry. "You haven't texted us for two weeks!"</p>
<p>He fell silent, and so did the redhead.</p>
<p>"I love you, Richie, I do. Why don't you and I get a drink or something after your show?" She reached a hand out and rubbed the man's shoulder.</p>
<p>He nodded and held her hand there. "I love you, too, Bev. I missed you."</p>
<p>"I'm sure you did, Tozier." And with that, she got up and left, leaving Richie alone again.</p>
<p> His show was starting soon, and it scared him. Richie Tozier was never one for stage fright, but this wasn't stage fright. This was something else, something that he couldn't pinpoint. Maybe it was the fact that Beverly had found where he was so easily. It couldn't be that, though, he knew he wasn't hard to find. Just one search of his name and you could find where his next show was.</p>
<p>"Rich, five minutes." Steve poked his head into the room and Richie nodded. He stood up, throwing a jacket on. "You okay, buddy?" The smaller man reached to put a hand on the oddly scared man.</p>
<p>He jerked back and nodded, leaning into the mirror and letting out a shaky breath. "I'm fine. We allowed to start early?" He just wanted to get it over with, get the whole show over with and go out with Bev and lie to her about why he hadn't texted first or texted back. She'd see right through it, though, she always did. </p>
<p>"I...uh, sure." Steve blinked, surprised by Richie's sudden movement. </p>
<p>"Good." He hurried out of the room, pushing past everyone and tucking his shirt in. It felt weird, looking this professional. He missed his slightly sloppy look, it didn't feel so stiff. </p>
<p>"Wait, Rich!" Steve called after him, holding a piece of fabric in his hands. Richie nodded quickly and bent down slightly, letting him tie the tie. It was suffocating, and he hated it.  "Okay, go ahead."</p>
<p>
  <em>"And now.."</em>
</p>
<p>"Shit!"</p>
<p>
  <em>"..Introducing.."</em>
</p>
<p>He stood at the curtain, waiting for his name to be called as he tried to pull himself together. "Don't throw up again," he kept reminding himself. </p>
<p>
  <em>"Richie Tozier!"</em>
</p>
<p>He slapped on a fake smile and walked out, waving and pretending to laugh. The crowd cheered and the lights were so bright. This was Hell, it had to be. Nothing could be quite as bad as this. </p>
<p>That was a lie, leaving Eddie behind would be worse. </p>
<p>He shook the thought from his head quickly before continuing with his act. </p>
<p>"My girlfriend always gets on me for dressing nicer so I think she'll like this get up tonight." The words fled from his mouth before he could think about what he was saying and it left a sour taste in his mouth. Lying like that always did, but it made him feel normal. Like the rest of the comedians with girlfriends and wives. He spotted Bev frowning but he ignored it, he was imagining it. </p>
<p>     "And let me tell you, that mullet wearing asshole thought twice before crossing me again." He laughed and heard the small bell backstage. "Alright, thank you for having me tonight, Reno." He set the mic back and waved, trying not to rush backstage. </p>
<p>The last story was just a made up story about how he knocked him to the group, not sharing names and also lying about what happened. I mean, they'd lose their shit if they found out Richie had murdered a man. It was a scary thought, and one of the many things he had wanted to forget. </p>
<p>    As soon as he got to his dressing room, he saw Beverly, standing there with her warm smile that immediately made Richie feel just a little bit better about his sad life. The life he wanted to change. She opened her arms and he fell into them, choking back sobs. <br/>
"Come on, Rich, let's go get wasted," she joked, letting him pull away for his jacket and his phone. He stayed silent, just nodding and making sure he has his wallet so he could pay for their drinks.</p>
<p>Their drive was silent and short, silent music. It was some band called The Mountain Goats, Richie's niece liked them. Neither of them talked until they were seated at the bar, the tall man opening a tab and ordering drinks for the two. </p>
<p>"You're not gonna let me order for myself?" Bev asked, raising an eyebrow. <br/>
"Bevvie, you haven't changed much in the past 27 years, I know you like your simple beer. Lucky for you, they got nothing good." He laughed and turned his chair so they were facing, her doing the same. "You alright, Bev?" <br/>
Their bottles of beer were placed in front of them, both of them thanking the bartender. </p>
<p>"I divorced Tom." It was three words that made Richie incredibly happy.</p>
<p>"Holy shit, Bev, congrats! I'm proud of you, I am." He grinned and made her give him a big hug. <br/>
"Thanks, Rich," Bev replied, smiling a bit. When the hug ended, the two were silent. It wasn't awkward. Even after all this time, they were still best friends. "How are you, Rich? Really?"</p>
<p>Richie puffed his cheeks and blew out the air slowly, trying to think of what to say. "Fine?" It was more of a question, really. He didn't want to tell her that every night since that night, he had sobbed and he had gotten drunk. He was barely sober. He wanted to cope with what he saw and what they did and he wanted to forget and that was the only way he knew how to. </p>
<p>"Tell me the truth, 'Chee," she told him, putting a friendly hand on his knee and smiling at him. It reminded him of a time when they were kids. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>    <em>"'Rich, wait up!" Bev laughed, trying to keep up with a fast Richie Tozier as they outran Henry Bowers that one summer. They were hoping there would be more summers like this to come. He almost spat out a quick comeback, but he tripped over a root in a tree. </em></p>
<p>
  <em>"Fuck!" He cursed out loud. The redhead had caught up with him and was kneeling in front of him, Richie on his back and her covering the sun from his eyes so he didn't have to squint. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"You okay, 'Chee?" she asked, a hand on the knee he didn't manage to scrape and bruise as much as the other. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm not fine," Richie admitted, shrugging. It was so easy to talk to Bev, it always had been. She was this warmth energy in everyone's life. Ben was right in the poem he wrote, January Embers was the truth. Even on a cold winter night, Beverly Marsh could make you feel like it was a hot summer afternoon. Ben and Bev were lucky to have each other. "It's not a big deal, Bevvie."<br/>
<br/>
"We're all worried about you, Rich, we are. Please come back to us. Let us help you." She was begging him and Richie felt oh so shitty. He felt shitty that he had even pushed himself away from his only friends, his only family. He had Maggie, he had Wentworth, he had Rosie, but they didn't understand him the way the Losers always had. He felt shitty for not keeping contact and for the only way they only knew he was alive was through his shows and the news. </p>
<p>"Okay," he nodded and whispered, tears pricking his eyes. He was scared. He didn't want help. He just wanted his friends. "I'll call more often."<br/>
"Yeah? What if we all hung out this weekend? Just the Losers club. Patty doesn't have to come, it can be just like old times." Bev nodded and rubbed his knee in an attempt to comfort him. Everyone at the bar probably thought that Bev was about to offer him head and that he was an emotional prick who cried during sex. </p>
<p>"Audra'll be coming?" Richie asked, confused. He didn't stay as updated in their lives as they were with his. <br/>
<br/>
"We have a lot to catch you up on. Let's just drink and talk and the rest, we can worry about later, yeah?" Bev pulled her hand back and finally started drinking her beer. </p>
<p>"Yeah." Richie just left his there, not touching it so he could be the designated driver. </p>
<p>The two laughed all night, eventually both going back to Richie's hotel. Bev was passed out and Richie was up all night, getting back the rest of the Losers' numbers and finally allowing himself to start to be accepted into their lives. </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i had this in my drafts for almost a month or two &lt;3 i forgot to edit and post. anyway idk when i'll be updating again LMAO sorry ily mwah</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>